Re-opening Europa

The COVID-19 pandemic is probably the first serious challenge that the EU has ever faced that isn’t just a single member state being a problem (i.e. Greece or the UK leaving). COVID-19 shows how preposterously incapable the EU is at preparing, implementing, and announcing a coordinated response to any fucking thing.

I have been in Serbia since February. I have a place to be in the Schengen. For the sake of argument, we will use Helsinki, Finland as my destination. This is not actual, but it’s as good as any thing.

COVID hits, and Schengen (the big borderless system of virtually all EU member states) shits itself. Every member state starts closing down, sometimes even internal borders like Italy did. The entire agreement falls to the wayside in favor of an every-cunt-for-itself that is more in line with how sovereignties should be acting.

So the EC puts on its big boy pants and says: “We will re-do Schenge June 1st!”, meant to re-open the internal borders of the EU. The way this works, the EC passes a suggestion and its up to member states to implement them. How do you think this goes? Luxembourg opens late March, and then every other country adopts it between June 1st and June 15th.

So Take 2. EC gets to put on its big boy pants and show the world what a strong, cohesive union the EU really is. Now they’re going to open up to third nationals. How do you think this goes? They say: “We will open up to third nationals on July 1st!”, on June 15th. They put out a list of countries (of which Serbia is included) from which people can fly in from to visit the EU without restriction.

The result: Most countries announce nothing, some countries announce their adoption of this suggestion the fucking DAY BEFORE the deadline. No country accepts this proposal at face value, and removes countries from the list. Some countries want reciprocal travel (i.e. China must allow Dutch citizens before Dutch allows Chinese citizens), some don’t want to open at all, some want to open on later dates, some add airports some remove some. Some are completely open to third nationals.

How is this all communicated? Not at all. For the entire pandemic, I have been relying on the US EMBASSY SITES to rely information about what countries are allowed in and out of these Schengen states. Half-way through June, the EU launches this website which I found on some shitty fucking travel blog some retard runs in their spare time, with no official association to anything at all.

And guess what? It’s no better than the US embassy sites! It’s often slower to update, because the EU has less of a fucking idea of what’s going on in their member states than the US embassies does, because the charge d’affaires of the US missions frequently probe their counterparts to figure out what the fuck is going on before those counterparts relay information to Brussels.

So while Greece is open, Yugoslavia is not a part of the Schengen, making Greece an exclave of the Schengen. Luxembourg is open, but there are no direct flights to the Luxembourg airport from Belgrade. What happens if I fly to Athens, and then fly to Finland? Who knows! No one knows! Will that Schengen visa be accepted at Helsinki? Fuck if I know, fuck if the people in Athens would know.

There’s also disagreement between the member states regarding residency. I am not a resident of Serbia, I am just on an extended visa. Some countries (Netherlands) are only allowing residents of these third nations, but what about retards like me stuck on a tourist visa? Greece, for instance, is allowing anyone who has spent the last 14 days in those countries, not necessarily residents.

So it literally looks like the best way to get into Finland right now would be to fly to PORTUGAL, get a Schengen visa there, and then rent a fucking car and drive it from Iberia up to Baltics into Helsinki, because there’s no borders between the nations.

And since the situation is so confusing, it’s also unlikely border guards know what the fuck is going on either. What they say is final, so if you get one in a bad mood you’re fucked. When I was in Switzerland, I was seeing people get turned around for arriving one day early.

It’s a fucking mess. Mark my words: the second push comes to shove with these assholes, this fragile little union would shatter immediately.